Beauty is in the eye of the Believer

The past month has been a whirlwind of amazing. I got married, moved back to Calgary, survived training camp, made the team (!!), started school and somewhere in there, even managed to escape to for a few moons to the mountains for what seems like the first alone time with Manski in months!


All of these happenings have been underscored by the realization that at last, I am rooting down in a single geographical space. After so many years of moving back and forth, investing myself deeply for four month intervals and then moving on, I am finally "nesting" in one place. Thinking on this shift, I realize now how much I have kept these different cities and spaces fragmented in my mind, and how that has only resulted in a more fragmented me. As a result, I thought of Vancouver as the place where I had great skin, Ottawa as the place where I had great hair and Calgary as the place where I had great abs! It's no wonder that I have not been able to remain consistently committed to self care - I credited all of my beauty and health to places instead of to myself!

For the first time in my life, I am finding that - transition notwithstanding - I do have everything I need within me for vibrant health..no matter where I happen to be hanging my hat. A big part of staying healthy (for me) is in finding the beauty around me and soaking it in with deep breaths and gazing fondly on nature's splendor. Ok, so it's not as simple as beauty by osmosis, but it is as simple as spending your moments with people and in places where you can't help but feel like part of the beauty or goodness in a conversation, in a national park, in a gorgeous meal or even a brilliant book is becoming part of you. I am not finding beauty outside of me and trying to absorb it, but rather, meditating on how that beauty resonates with a part of me.


We all know that self-care involves making some conscious choices about the kinds of foods we want in our bodies, how we want to use our (caloric and other) energies and what we need in our lives to feel vibrant, especially when the going gets tough. I used to think that a healthy lifestyle meant policing my macronutrients, training as hard as I could and being a giver in every way possible. Maybe (for a very short time) I found some fulfillment in those things, but now I am just making the effort to tune in for inspiration on what to eat, how to spend my energy (in the moment and in the long term) and to
s l o w d o w n more often to listen and be still. This all feels so new to me.. like some kind of a bit of a mini-revolution, and yet I can feel that the algorhythm powering this change has been in me since before my first breath.

But the coolest thing is that there are times when we don't tune in. When I eat beyond my capacity, or feel a bit puffy, the first thing I do is say something nurturing to myself and the next thing I know, I feel instantly better. It's ok to eat treats (in fact, it's great to eat treats) and to sometimes skip exercise for some extra sleep. What's important isn't that you are constantly trying, it's that you stop constantly trying and just be you. Whether you ate oats or a sticky bun for breakfast, you are beautiful and great just as you are. Whether you can walk a mile or run a marathon, you are valuable and gifted just as you are. It's ok to feel less than stellar about your body some days, I definitely have those days too. For those occasions, try to have a kind word for yourself so that you can focus on something about you that is timeless and special. Heaven knows, being a size X is probably not part of the legacy and impact you will leave behind!

What does all of this mean? For me it means that what I need to be healthy and happy in life isn't formulaic, but something fluid, diffuse and changing. For you, it might mean slowing down (like it does for me) or maybe even speeding up! Whatever it be, trust that your body will tell you. Tuning in is hard at first, especially when we have come to trust media, science and dogmatism above our own personal knowledge, but just 2 or 3 minutes spent quietly with yourself every day can yield incredible empowerment.

I leave you with some small inspiration.. zucchini bread oatmeal, as inspired by Diet, Dessert and Dogs (click the link for the recipe). I made this for breakfast today and it was fantastic! Just cook your steel cut oats as you would regularly, but five minutes before they are done, toss in some very finely grated zucchini, spices/nuts of choice and enjoy! I can't help but think that a cameo appearance by form of cocoa or chocolate would be an excellent progression!