Inward Bound!

I can't seem to escape discussions on confidence in my life these days. All around me, in everything I do, my usual inner monologues on confidence are being supplemented by all kinds of events and conversations about how to channel belief.
I'm certainly not an expert on self-esteem, but I am a certified expert on me, and maybe a few tips on how I channel my confidence and use it to guide me toward my goals with a sense of choice, empowerment and purpose might interest you.

I have always been a skilled and strong field hockey player, but my weakness has been inconsistent confidence. Before I felt like a real impact player, I had to start asking myself, "How would I look and what would I be thinking if I were the best?"
Since we know that we can control our thoughts and actions, but less so our feelings, I used my thoughts and actions to gradually bring about a change in my beliefs. Although I didn't believe in myself at first, I just to use the "fake it till you make it" method!

1) Affirmations
Although it felt a bit awkward at first, I began to write affirmations almost nightly in my journal. I would write them in huge caps and then read them aloud to myself. I read them as if I was reading a story, with as much persuasive tone as I could. I also started leaving them in places where I commonly visited (washroom mirror, my day planner, desk, etc.) kind of like a personal operation beautiful!
Friends, you know, it's hard to say when, but I felt a current of empowerment starting to flow within me. It was this practice of regular affirmations that enabled me to count on myself for consolation, comfort and inspiration from within. I guess you could say that I found myself switching from an outer to an inner locus of control.

2) Body language
In 2 ways (among many others) yoga helped me to transform the language I used with myself and the way in which I communicated through my body. Regular quiet time with myself helped me to learn to honor my body. It is true for everyone that we have things we'd sometimes like to change about our physical selves, but it is also true that our bodies are incredible vectors for beauty and health! In tandem with affirmations, I turned fiction to fact and learned to treat my body with respect through more balanced eating (with room for treats!), more rest and stillness and by cultivating more awareness through quiet time, meditation or yoga. In terms of emitting these signals to others, I made a conscious effort to improve my posture..which has not only helped with my nagging SI joint pain immensely, but has helped me to become a more commanding athlete in the presence of my opponents.

3) Disconnecting self-confidence through success
It used to be that great games, praise from others, good grades and and excessively busy schedule (which, looking back, was excessive down to the double-s) fueled my confidence. I relied on "success" (which I defined as tangible outcomes) to feel good about myself. This path to burn out was swift and merciless and before I knew it, I was too physically and emotionally drained to even leave my bed. I hit rock bottom and had to re-evaluate every aspect of my life and how I conceptualized my self (and self-worth). It took a few years of slowing down and learning to use my "doings" as expressions of my identity - rather than determinants of it - that ultimately has led me to a better place. When I do pursue a lofty undertaking now, it is because I know that I have the tools and support to do so with passion and pleasure, rather than deriving a false sense of worth from completing the task. This way, when things get shifty, I don't get shifty with them!

4) Confidence through Osmosis
Surrounding yourself with people who love and care for themselves and their loved ones with a genuine sense of gratitude is an inspiring and effortless way to begin cultivating your confidence. I have found that in particular, seniors tend to be great role models for this type of behaviour. While I was out with a stress fracture, I felt genuinely healed in the presence of older people at the pool, who exercised with enjoyment and who often spoke with gratitude for the longevity and vitality of their bodily health. When you spend time with someone who emulates belief and confidence, know that your presence brings something valuable and seek to see yourself through the same powerful lens.

Thought process: "Manski would not have brought me here if he didnt' think I could jump. So I'm going to juuuuuuummm...."


5) Confidence Playlist
Believe it or not, I have a collection of morning songs that really make me feel uplifted. I love listening to these songs anytime I need that extra shot of inspiration. They have tunes or lyrics that really resonate with my personal code of living and never fail to bring me up when I'm having inner thunderstorms.


What helps you get your glow on? Do you have tips or tricks for bringing yourself up on a down day, or a story of how you came to believe in yourself? I would love to hear it!